Acts
Chapter 2 1 1 When the time for Pentecost was fulfilled, they were all in one place together. 2 And suddenly there came from the sky a noise like a strong driving wind, 2 and it filled the entire house in which they were. 3 Then there appeared to them tongues as of fire, 3 which parted and came to rest on each one of them. 4 And they were all filled with the holy Spirit and began to speak in different tongues, 4 as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim. 5 Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven staying in Jerusalem. 6 At this sound, they gathered in a large crowd, but they were confused because each one heard them speaking in his own language. 7 They were astounded, and in amazement they asked, "Are not all these people who are speaking Galileans? 8 Then how does each of us hear them in his own native language? 9 We are Parthians, Medes, and Elamites, inhabitants of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, 10 Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the districts of Libya near Cyrene, as well as travelers from Rome, 11 both Jews and converts to Judaism, Cretans and Arabs, yet we hear them speaking in our own tongues of the mighty acts of God."

1 Corinthians
Chapter 12 3 Therefore, I tell you that nobody speaking by the spirit of God says, "Jesus be accursed." And no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the holy Spirit. 4 1 There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; 5 there are different forms of service but the same Lord; 6 there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. 7 To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit. 12 2 As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit.

John
Chapter 20 19 1 2 On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you." 20 When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. 3 The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. 21 4 (Jesus) said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you." 22 5 And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the holy Spirit. 23 6 Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained."

Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation:

When the time for Pentecost arrived on the Programmer's Schedule, the disciples were all in one place, together.  Suddenly, The Holy Wireless Connector, with the sound of a driving wind, filled the whole house they were in.    He opened the files in their minds so they could download Him.  The download was so powerful that flames came to rest on each of them.  The new, incredibly powerful programs were instantly downloaded, and allowed them to access different languages, outside their own minds, with a Holy, Wireless Connection.  Then, their reprogramming progressed to the point that their very tongues and larynxes were able to respond to it.  Now, there were devout Jews from every nation under Heaven staying in Jerusalem.  At this sound, a large crowd of them gathered, but they were confused because each heard the apostles speaking in his (native) language.

They were astounded and amazed.  "How could these Galileans speak to us in our own language?  We are from all over the world, from all genetic backgrounds, and this new programming is so powerful that we each hear them speaking in our own languages of the powerful Programming of The Programmer (that has given them this miraculous ability)."

No one speaking with the authority of The Programmer through The Holy Wireless Connector is able to say:  "Jesus (The Program, in perfect, loving human form) be accursed." (The Programmer has programmed that to be impossible).  On the flip side of that Programming Rule, no one can say "Jesus is Lord." unless The Holy Wireless Connector has allowed him to access and broadcast that truth.  There are different kinds of access allowed by the One Holy Wireless Connector.  These are different ways to serve the One Unprogrammed Programmer.  There are different programs, but the same Programmer writes all of them in everyone.  To each free-will program (person), The Holy Wireless Connector gives some Download of The Holy Wireless Connector to provide some (specific?) benefit.  (Each of us should see what skills have been downloaded within our own Central Processing Unit and use them.)  As a huge Living Program is one, though it has many Subsidiary Programs, all those parts, though many, are One Program, so it is with Jesus Christ, The Programmer's beloved Program in perfect, loving, human form.  For the one Holy Wireless Connector has, by washing away the viruses we inherited at Baptism, brought us into One Body, no matter what genetic background or social status, and we were all allowed to download from The One Holy Wireless Connector.

Sunday evening, the disciples were hiding behind locked doors because they were afraid of those who would kill them to maintain the profitable, 2000 year old monopoly they used to have on accessing The Programmer.   Jesus appeared in their midst and said, "Peace be with you."  Then, He authorized His reality by showing them His hands and side (which no imposter could have done).  His original downloaders rejoiced when they saw The Program, Jesus Christ, in perfect, loving, human form (with them again).  Jesus said again, "Peace (happy obedience to the Operating Instructions) be with you.  As The Programmer has sent Me, so I send you."  And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said, "Receive The Holy Wireless Connector.  (Transferring to them His Power to Re-Program the hearts, souls, and minds of men, erasing the viruses.), Whose sins (willful violations of The Operating Instructions) you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins (willful violations of The Operating Instructions) you do not forgive are left with the sinner." (Who will be punished for all unforgiven violations of The Operating Instructions.)