First Reading:

Exodus
Chapter 17 3 Here, then, in their thirst for water, the people grumbled against Moses, saying, "Why did you ever make us leave Egypt? Was it just to have us die here of thirst with our children and our livestock?" 4 So Moses cried out to the LORD, "What shall I do with this people? A little more and they will stone me!" 5 The LORD answered Moses, "Go over there in front of the people, along with some of the elders of Israel, holding in your hand, as you go, the staff with which you struck the river. 6 I will be standing there in front of you on the rock in Horeb. Strike the rock, and the water will flow from it for the people to drink." This Moses did, in the presence of the elders of Israel. 7 1 The place was called Massah and Meribah, because the Israelites quarreled there and tested the LORD, saying, "Is the LORD in our midst or not?"

Romans
Chapter 5 1 1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace 2 with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access (by faith) to this grace in which we stand, and we boast in hope of the glory of God. 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us. 6 For Christ, while we were still helpless, yet died at the appointed time for the ungodly. 7 Indeed, only with difficulty does one die for a just person, though perhaps for a good person one might even find courage to die. 3 8 But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.

John
Chapter 4 5 So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, 1 near the plot of land that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6 Jacob's well was there. Jesus, tired from his journey, sat down there at the well. It was about noon. 7 A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, "Give me a drink." 8 His disciples had gone into the town to buy food. 9 2 The Samaritan woman said to him, "How can you, a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?" (For Jews use nothing in common with Samaritans.) 10 3 Jesus answered and said to her, "If you knew the gift of God and who is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him and he would have given you living water." 11 (The woman) said to him, "Sir, 4 you do not even have a bucket and the cistern is deep; where then can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us this cistern and drank from it himself with his children and his flocks?" 13 Jesus answered and said to her, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again; 14 but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." 15 The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, so that I may not be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water." 16 Jesus said to her, "Go call your husband and come back." 17 The woman answered and said to him, "I do not have a husband." Jesus answered her, "You are right in saying, 'I do not have a husband.' 18 For you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true." 19 The woman said to him, "Sir, I can see that you are a prophet. 20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain; 5 but you people say that the place to worship is in Jerusalem." 21 Jesus said to her, "Believe me, woman, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You people worship what you do not understand; we worship what we understand, because salvation is from the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth; 6 and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship him. 24 God is Spirit, and those who worship him must worship in Spirit and truth." 25 7 The woman said to him, "I know that the Messiah is coming, the one called the Anointed; when he comes, he will tell us everything." 26 Jesus said to her, "I am he, 8 the one who is speaking with you." 27 At that moment his disciples returned, and were amazed that he was talking with a woman, 9 but still no one said, "What are you looking for?" or "Why are you talking with her?" 28 The woman left her water jar and went into the town and said to the people, 29 "Come see a man who told me everything I have done. Could he possibly be the Messiah?" 30 They went out of the town and came to him. 31 Meanwhile, the disciples urged him, "Rabbi, eat." 32 But he said to them, "I have food to eat of which you do not know." 33 So the disciples said to one another, "Could someone have brought him something to eat?" 34 Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of the one who sent me and to finish his work. 35 Do you not say, 'In four months 10 the harvest will be here'? I tell you, look up and see the fields ripe for the harvest. 36 The reaper is already 11 receiving his payment and gathering crops for eternal life, so that the sower and reaper can rejoice together. 37 For here the saying is verified that 'One sows and another reaps.' 38 I sent you to reap what you have not worked for; others have done the work, and you are sharing the fruits of their work." 39 Many of the Samaritans of that town began to believe in him because of the word of the woman 12 who testified, "He told me everything I have done." 40 When the Samaritans came to him, they invited him to stay with them; and he stayed there two days. 41 Many more began to believe in him because of his word, 42 and they said to the woman, "We no longer believe because of your word; for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is truly the savior of the world."

Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation:

The humans chosen to download The Programmer's Operating Instructions were out of water.  Their physical discomfort made them forget The Programmer, and they wanted to return to water and slavery.  "Why'd you ever make us leave our comfortable slavery?  Did you want us to be erased?"

So, Moses cried out to The Programmer, "How can I program them?  A little more physical suffering, and they'll erase me!"  The Programmer told Moses to stand in front of the people, along with some of the elders, and hit the rock with your staff.  Water will come out, and the people will drink the power of My Programming."  Moses did that, and it was witnessed by the elders, who could not reasonably turn against him from that time.  The place was called Massah and Meribah because the Israelites argued and tested The Programmer, asking, is He among us, or not?"

Since we've downloaded The Program, we have peace with The Programmer through His Son, The Program, Jesus Christ in perfect, loving, human and divine form.  We were able to download The Program by our faith, which took us to the undeserved status in which we live, and we tell others about what we've received, hoping to download more from the Glory of The Programmer.  Our hope does not disappoint, because The Programmer's Program has been poured into our hearts by The Holy Wireless Connector Who was given to us.  For The Program, before we had downloaded it, died according to The Programmer's schedule for those not close to The Programmer.  It is hard for a human program to choose to die for a good person, though one might find the courage to do so. But, The Programmer proves His love for us, and proves the His victorious Programming Power, because The Program died for us while we were still sinners.

Jesus Christ, The Program in both human and divine form, came to Sychar, in Samaria, near the place Jacob had passed on part of his inheritance to his son, Joseph.  Jacob's well, always a source of great wealth, was there.  Jesus was tired from his journey, and sat down at the well when the day was brightest.

A Samaritan women came to draw water.  Jesus said, "Give me a drink".  He was alone, His disciples had gone into town to buy food.  the Samaritan woman asked, "How can you, a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?", because Jews follow a different set of Operating Instructions than Samaritans.

Jesus said, "If you knew the gift of The Programmer, and that it is The Program who's saying 'Give me a drink.', you'd have asked Him, and He would have given you living water."  She said, "Sir, you don't even have a bucket, how will you get living water from a deep hole in which water from the sky has been collected?  Are you greater than our father, Jacob, who gave us this cistern, and drank from it with his children and flocks?"  Jesus replied, "Those who drink this water will be thirsty again, but whoever downloads The New Operating Instructions will never thirst;, my water will transform him so that he can receive immortality."  The woman said, "Sir, give me this water so I'm no longer thirsty or have to come back and draw water all the time."  Jesus said, "Get your husband and come back."  She said, "I don't have a husband."  He replied, "You are right.  You had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband.  You have been truthful."

The woman said, "Sir, I can see you can see things that have been downloaded out of sight.  Our ancestors worshipped here, but you Jews say we should worship in Jerusalem."  Jesus said, "The truth is, the hour is near when you'll worship The Programmer neither here nor in Jerusalem.  You people don't worship The Programmer, but we do, because we understand Him better.  But, the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshippers will worship The Programmer with The Holy Wireless Connector and The Program, and The Programmer looks for such people to worship Him.  The Programmer is Communication, and those who worship Him just worship in Communication and The Program."  The woman said, "I know that The Program is coming in human form, who will explain everything."  Jesus said, "That's me.  I am The Living Program."

Then, the disciples returned, and were amazed that The Program in perfect, loving, human form was speaking with a woman, but no one dared to ask Him about it."

The woman left her water jar (an important, fragile piece of property) and went into town, and said to people, "Come, see a man who told me everything I have done.  Could He be the Messiah?"  The townspeople came out of town to Him. 

Meanwhile, the disciples urged him, "Teacher, have something to eat."  But, He said, "I make downloads you don't know about that keep me going."  So the disciples asked, "Did someone bring Him food?" 

Jesus said, "I draw nourishment by obeying The Programmer and doing what He tells me.  Don't you say, 'In four months, payday arrives'? I tell you, look up at the people whose souls are ready for The Program.  The Program is already getting paid and gathering those souls for eternal life so The Programmer and Program can rejoice together. 

For here, the truth that 'One does the work and another gets paid' is verified.  For, I sent you to harvest what The Programmer and His Programming Assistants produced.  They have been doing the work since before this well was dug, and you are getting paid for it." 

Many Samaritans of that town began to believe in The Program because of the word of the woman who testified, "He told me everything I have done."  The Samaritans invited The Program to remain with them, and He stayed two days.  Many more began to download The Program because of His testimony, and they said to the woman, "We no longer believe because of your download, but because we have been able to download The Program for ourselves, and we know that this is the savior of the world."