Weekly Readings with Catholic Fundamentalist Interpretation

First Reading:

Zephaniah
Chapter 2 3 Seek the LORD, all you humble of the earth, who have observed his law; Seek justice, seek humility; perhaps you may be sheltered on the day of the LORD'S anger. Chapter 3 12 But I will leave as a remnant in your midst a people humble and lowly, Who shall take refuge in the name of the LORD; 13 the remnant of Israel. They shall do no wrong and speak no lies; Nor shall there be found in their mouths a deceitful tongue; They shall pasture and couch their flocks with none to disturb them.

 

Second Reading:

1 Corinthians
Chapter 1 26 1 Consider your own calling, brothers. Not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, 28 and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, 29 so that no human being might boast 2 before God. 30 It is due to him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption, 31 so that, as it is written, "Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord."

 

Third Reading:

Matthew
Chapter 5 1 1 When he saw the crowds, 2 he went up the mountain, and after he had sat down, his disciples came to him. 2 He began to teach them, saying: 3 3 "Blessed are the poor in spirit, 4 for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 5 Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 6 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land. 6 Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 7 for they will be satisfied. 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8 8 Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, 9 for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of me. 12 10 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven. Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.





Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation:

Get closer to The Programmer, all you human programs humble enough to have obeyed His Operating Instructions.

If you seek to download His operating instructions, and want justice for your fellow free-will programs, and do not exalt your own programming abilities, MAYBE He will protect you when He is angered. 

I will leave a remnant among you who do not exalt themselves, and they will find safety in the name of The Programmer; the few obedient to the Operating Instructions in Israel.  They will have no errors in their operation, and will not lie, nor shall they deceive.  They will take care of their flocks with no one erasing or altering them.

 

Think about your own programming abilities, my fellow free-will programs.  Not many of you had great programming ability by conventional standards.  Few were powerful or of great inherited status.  Instead, The Programmer choose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and The Programmer selected the weak to shame the strong, and The Programmer chose the lowly and despised of the world to reduce to nothing those who had more.  He did that so no one could boast before The Programmer.  He let you be uploaded into The Program, Who, in loving, perfect form, became for us the Wisdom of The Programmer.  He gave us access to download righteousness, holiness, and forgiveness for our sins.  When we understand how great His Programming is, we only boast of our accomplishments by giving Him full credit.

 

When The Program, Jesus Christ, in perfect, loving, human form, saw those seeking to be better, He sat down so His programming assistants (the Disciples were to The Program what angels are to The Programmer), and gave them Operating Instructions.  "Those who recognize the superiority of The Programmer can be uploaded into Programming Central.  Blessed are those able to be sorry for errors, for they shall be re-written properly.  Blessed are those who don't think they're more important than they are, they'll inherit earthly possessions.  Blessed are they who want good programming, they'll get it.  Blessed are they who love their fellow free-will programs enough to forgive errors, their own errors will be forgiven.  Blessed are they who want error-free programming, they will see The Programmer.   Blessed are they who reconcile differing programs, they are The Programmer's children.  Blessed are they who love The Programmer so much that viruses try to erase their programming.  Blessed are you when you download The Program so well that the viruses attack you viciously.  Rejoice, be glad, for The Programmer will reward you in Programming Central.  (Hope that) You will be as persecuted as the Programming Assistants who came before you.