Weekly Readings with Catholic Fundamentalist Interpretation

Readings, December 16, 2007

Isaiah
Chapter 49 3 1 You are my servant, he said to me, Israel, through whom I show my glory. 5 For now the LORD has spoken who formed me as his servant from the womb, That Jacob may be brought back to him and Israel gathered to him; And I am made glorious in the sight of the LORD, and my God is now my strength! 6 2 It is too little, he says, for you to be my servant, to raise up the tribes of Jacob, and restore the survivors of Israel; I will make you a light to the nations, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.

Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation:

You are my programming assistant, He said to me, "you are to download My operating instructions to Jacob (Israel), through whom I show my glory."

     For now The Programmer, Who programmed me as His assistant from the womb (so) that Jacob's descendants would download His instructions and return to Him;  therefore, I am made A GREAT PROGRAMMING ASSISTANT in the sight of The Programmer, and He Who programmed me is now my operating system.  "(with the programming awareness and power I have given you) It is not enough for you to be My assistant simply to raise up the tribes of Jacob and restore the survivors of the other tribes;  you are programmed to be a light to the nations so that access to My downloads may be available to the ends of the earth."

    

 

Reading II

1 Corinthians
Chapter 1 1 1 2 Paul, called to be an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Sosthenes our brother, 2 to the church of God that is in Corinth, to you who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be holy, with all those everywhere who call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours. 3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation:

Paul, selected to download The Program by The Programmer, and fellow downloader Sosthenes, to the assembly of downloaders of The Program (Jesus Christ, in loving, perfect, human form) in Corinth, to you whose programs have been erased of errors by The Program, with all those similarly called to obey its operating instructions, call upon the name of The Program, Jesus Christ, their Lord, and ours.  Grace to you, and pease from The Programmer and The Program, (Jesus Christ, in loving, perfect, human form).


Gospel

John
Chapter 1 29 The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God, 1 who takes away the sin of the world. 30 2 He is the one of whom I said, 'A man is coming after me who ranks ahead of me because he existed before me.' 31 I did not know him, 3 but the reason why I came baptizing with water was that he might be made known to Israel." 32 John testified further, saying, "I saw the Spirit come down like a dove 4 from the sky and remain upon him. 33 I did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, 'On whomever you see the Spirit come down and remain, he is the one who will baptize with the holy Spirit.' 34 5 Now I have seen and testified that he is the Son of God."




Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation:

The next day, he saw Jesus (The Program, in loving, perfect, human form) coming toward him and knew Who He was, saying, "Behold, the Lamb of God, Who erases the errors in human operating systems.  He is the One of Whom I said, 'A Man is coming after me Who ranks ahead of me because He existed before me.'  I did not know Him, but I came baptizing with water so that He (The Program, in loving, perfect, human form) may be made known to Israel."

John testified further, saying "I saw The Spirit (The Holy, Wireless Connector) come down like a dove from the sky and remain upon Him.  I did not know Him, but The Programmer, Who sent me to baptize with water (make your operating systems ready to receive Him) told me,  'On Whomever you see the Holy Wireless Connector come down and remain, He is The One Who will be able to connect human operating systems with The Programmer (by implication, The Trinity of Programmer, Program, and Holy Wireless Connector) by allowing access to The Holy Wireless Connector.  Now, I have seen and testified that He is the Son of God (The Program, in perfect, loving, human form).