Weekly Readings with Catholic Fundamentalist Interpretation

Readings, October 28, 2007

Sirach
Chapter 35 12 For he is a God of justice, who knows no favorites. 13 1 Though not unduly partial toward the weak, yet he hears the cry of the oppressed. 14 He is not deaf to the wail of the orphan, nor to the widow when she pours out her complaint; 16 He who serves God willingly is heard; his petition reaches the heavens. 17 The prayer of the lowly pierces the clouds; it does not rest till it reaches its goal, 18 Nor will it withdraw till the Most High responds, judges justly and affirms the right.

Catholic Fundamentalism interpretation:

The Programmer infallibly judges everyone on how well they follow The Program.  The weak are not overly favored, but He knows, (and doesn't like it) when His free-will programs are abused.  He hears the orphan's cry and the widow's problems (and knows who's responsible).  Those who willingly obey His Programming Instructions have their requests for Programming Assistance heard by high-level Programmers.  When the lowly ask for Programming Assistance, their request goes to a Programming Assistant who can program a solution to their problem.  Their plea for Programming Assistance remains an active file until The Programmer opens it, edits it, and confirms those who follow The Program.

 

Reading II

2 Timothy
Chapter 4 6 1 For I am already being poured out like a libation, and the time of my departure is at hand. 7 2 I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith. 8 3 From now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearance. 16 At my first defense no one appeared on my behalf, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them! 17 But the Lord stood by me and gave me strength, so that through me the proclamation might be completed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was rescued from the lion's mouth. 18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil threat and will bring me safe to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Catholic Fundamentalism interpretation:

I've downloaded my own re-programming to help others, and I am about to be uploaded into the Operating System of The Programmer.   I have downloaded accurately until the end, and stayed in obedience to the Operating Instructions.  From now on, knowing that I will be uploaded into Central Processing, along with others who likewise longed for The Program's appearance. 

Many free-will programs disobeyed His Operating Instructions under pressure.  I held on without their help, but do not want those who did not endure to the end to have their weakness held against them.  The Program in perfect, loving, human form gave me the strength to obey His Program so that all the world could accept The New Programing Instructions.  And, I was saved from destruction.  The Program will keep me from being erased and will ensure that I am downloaded into Central Processing.  To Him be glory for all time.  So be it.



Gospel

Luke
Chapter 18 9 He then addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else. 10 "Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, 'O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity--greedy, dishonest, adulterous--or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.' 13 But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, 'O God, be merciful to me a sinner.' 14 I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted."




Catholic Fundamentalism interpretation:

The Program wanted to help re-program those who thought they were better than the neighbors they despised.  "A Pharisee and a tax collector got as close to The Programmer as was possible on earth.  The Pharisee asked himself to reinforce his own programming, by thanking The Programmer for having made him such a superior person.  'O, Programmer, I thank you for making me better than all the other free will programs in the world.  I am not greedy, dishonest, adulterous, or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week, and pay tithes on my gross, not my net, income.'

The tax collector stood at a distance, and dared not even look up toward The Programmer, but beat his chest and begged The Programmer to be merciful to him, as he admitted he was a sinner.'

"I, The Program in perfect, loving, human form, tell you that the tax collector went home after re-programming himself to be closer to The Programmer while the Pharisee's pride pushed his self-centered program farther away.  Everyone who exalts his own programming ability must be readjusted and reprogrammed.  The one who seeks to download His Program will be authorized todo so and grow closer to The Programmer."