Readings, October 14, 2007

2 Kings
Chapter 5 14 So Naaman went down and plunged into the Jordan seven times at the word of the man of God. His flesh became again like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean. 15 He returned with his whole retinue to the man of God. On his arrival he stood before him and said, "Now I know that there is no God in all the earth, except in Israel. Please accept a gift from your servant." 16 "As the LORD lives whom I serve, I will not take it," Elisha replied; and despite Naaman's urging, he still refused. 17 1 Naaman said: "If you will not accept, please let me, your servant, have two mule-loads of earth, for I will no longer offer holocaust or sacrifice to any other god except to the LORD.

Catholic Fundamentalist Interpretation

Elisha was given power to reprogram.  He told Naaman to show that he believed in his (Elisha's) power by going into the Jordan seven times at his command.  His leprosy was not just programmed away, but his flesh was reprogrammed as to be like a small child's.  Naaman returned with his subordinates, stood before Elisha, and said, "Now, I know there is no God in all the earth, except for The Programmer worshipped by the Israelites.  Please, let me give you a present."

"As The Programmer Whom I serves lives, I won't take it."  He would not change his mind.  So, Naaman asked for two mule-loads of earth on which he could sacrifice to The Programmer Who empowered Elisha.

Catholic Fundamentalist Interpretation:

Remember The Program, (Jesus Christ, in perfect human, loving form) who was miraculously restored after having been erased.  He is a descendant of David.  That is my Gospel, and I am suffering for it, even to the point of being chained like a criminal.  But The Word of God (The Program) is not chained.

So, I bear with all my suffering for the sake of those who are given the ability to download The Program so that they, like me, may obtain access to The Programmer that is in The PRogram, with the eternal glory that accompanies that access.  This is a useful password:  "If we have erased our individual program for The Program, we shall also be reinstalled with Him.  But, if we deny The Program, we will not be allowed access.  If we disobey His Operating Instructions, The Program is still faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

Gospel

Luke
Chapter 17 11 1 2 As he continued his journey to Jerusalem, he traveled through Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was entering a village, ten lepers met (him). They stood at a distance from him 13 and raised their voice, saying, "Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!" 14 And when he saw them, he said, "Go show yourselves to the priests." 3 As they were going they were cleansed. 15 And one of them, realizing he had been healed, returned, glorifying God in a loud voice; 16 and he fell at the feet of Jesus and thanked him. He was a Samaritan. 17 Jesus said in reply, "Ten were cleansed, were they not? Where are the other nine? 18 Has none but this foreigner returned to give thanks to God?" 19 Then he said to him, "Stand up and go; your faith has saved you."

Catholic Fundamentalist Interpretation:

On His way to Jerusalem, The Program in perfect, loving, human form traveled through Samaria and Galilee.  Ten (one from each Northern tribe?) lepers met him as he went into a village.  From a distance, they cried out, "Jesus, Master, pity us!" 

Jesus said, "Go, show yourself to those authorized by the first downloaders."  In the process of obeying, they were cleansed.  One of them, realizing that he had been healed, returned, loudly glorifying The Programmer.  This Samaritan fell at the feet of The Program and thanked him.  The Program answered:  "Ten were cured, weren't they?  Where are the other nine?  Has only this non-Jew returned to give thanks to The Programmer?"

Then, He said, "Stand up and go.  Your faith in, and gratitude to, the Programmer's ability has overwritten the errors in your individual program with The Program that you may join Him forever.

(Those who did not return and give thanks seem to have been merely reprogrammed in body, not spirit.)