Readings, September 23, 2007

Amos
Chapter 8 4 Hear this, you who trample upon the needy and destroy the poor of the land! 5 1 "When will the new moon be over," you ask, "that we may sell our grain, and the sabbath, that we may display the wheat? We will diminish the ephah, add to the shekel, and fix our scales for cheating! 6 We will buy the lowly man for silver, and the poor man for a pair of sandals; even the refuse of the wheat we will sell!" 7 2 The LORD has sworn by the pride of Jacob: Never will I forget a thing they have done!

Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation

If you use the superior programming skills you have been given to hurt the poor, listen!  If youspend the holy days talking of new ways to cheat your neighbor by manipulating markets, rather than using those holy days as an opportunity to get closer to The Programmer; (and)

if you buy and sell people, treating them as objects, paying as little as possible for them, and if you them sell the worst quality products, The Programmer has sworn by Jacob's pride in his palaces and earthly possession that I will never forget a thing they have done!

Interpretation

My first (therefore, most important) request is that you ask The Programmer for the well-being of every person.  And, for all those who have authority.  This keeps hatred from rising and lets us worship The Programmer in peace.  He likes that because He wants everyone to download His Saving Program, thereby gaining admission to a joyful eternity knowing of the place where there are no errors.

There is One Programmer.  There is also one who can make let the programmed men access The Programmer.  That is Jesus Christ, who let Himself be erased in order to provide you that access.  This happened just when it was supposed to, just when the prophets said it would.  I was appointed a Programming Assistant to tell those not descended from Judah about this Program access.  Men who are not angry or arguing are better placed to gain access to The Programmer.

Gospel

Luke
Chapter 16 1 1 Then he also said to his disciples, "A rich man had a steward who was reported to him for squandering his property. 2 He summoned him and said, 'What is this I hear about you? Prepare a full account of your stewardship, because you can no longer be my steward.' 3 The steward said to himself, 'What shall I do, now that my master is taking the position of steward away from me? I am not strong enough to dig and I am ashamed to beg. 4 I know what I shall do so that, when I am removed from the stewardship, they may welcome me into their homes.' 5 He called in his master's debtors one by one. To the first he said, 'How much do you owe my master?' 6 2 He replied, 'One hundred measures of olive oil.' He said to him, 'Here is your promissory note. Sit down and quickly write one for fifty.' 7 Then to another he said, 'And you, how much do you owe?' He replied, 'One hundred kors 3 of wheat.' He said to him, 'Here is your promissory note; write one for eighty.' 8 4 And the master commended that dishonest steward for acting prudently.

5 "For the children of this world are more prudent in dealing with their own generation than are the children of light. 9 I tell you, make friends for yourselves with dishonest wealth, 6 so that when it fails, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings. 10 7 The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones; and the person who is dishonest in very small matters is also dishonest in great ones. 11 If, therefore, you are not trustworthy with dishonest wealth, who will trust you with true wealth? 12 If you are not trustworthy with what belongs to another, who will give you what is yours? 13 No servant can serve two masters. 8 He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon."

Interpretation

Jesus shared a bit of programming code in digestible form (parable):  "Someone told a wealthy man (chairman of a company) that his chief executive was wasting his property.  He called him (showing who had the real authority) and said, 'What's this I hear you've been doing?  Prepare your accounts, because you can no longer run my company.'  The executive thought, 'There must not be any evidence that warrants criminal charges, but I will no longer be in charge of anything.  I am too old for manual labor and too proud to beg.  I will use this opportunity to buy friends who will take care of me when I'm unemployed.'  He called in the company's debtors one at a time.  To the first, he said (and, he had the actual invoices and receipts in front of him) 'How much do you owe the company?'  The debtor answered, 'A hundred measures of olive oil.'  The soon-to-be fired executive said, 'Here's a new note for you to sign.  Fill out that you own fifty.'  To another, he said, 'And, how much do you owe?'  That debtor said, 'One hundred kors of wheat.'  The exec. said, 'Here's your new promissory note.  Sign that you own 80.'

When the Chairman found out, he commended the steward for acting wisely.  (The often overlooked illegal problem was:  If the notes were falsified, they may not have stood up in a court of law.  The Executive, by pretending to give a reduced debt was actually insuring that most of the debt would be paid in an enforceable contract.)

"Those skilled at the earthly programs are better at dealing with each other than those who download The Program.  If you have ill-gotten gains, use it to make friends with The Programmer.  You want Him to think well of you, and by trying to please Him, He will be so pleased that He'll welcome you into Heaven.

If you can trust a person in small matters, you can trust him in great ones.  Those who are dishonest in small matters are also dishonest in great ones.  If you can't be trusted with ill-gotten gains, can you be trusted with access to The Programmer?  If you can't be trusted with another's property, who will give you your own?  No one can operate with two programs.  He will either hate one program and love the other, or vice-versa.  You cannot serve both The Programmer and what He has programmed.