Readings, June 10, 2007

1 Kings
Chapter 17 17 Some time later the son of the mistress of the house fell sick, and his sickness grew more severe until he stopped breathing. 18 So she said to Elijah, "Why have you done this to me, O man of God? Have you come to me to call attention to my guilt and to kill my son?" 19 "Give me your son," Elijah said to her. Taking him from her lap, he carried him to the upper room where he was staying, and laid him on his own bed. 20 He called out to the LORD: "O LORD, my God, will you afflict even the widow with whom I am staying by killing her son?" 21 Then he stretched himself out upon the child three times and called out to the LORD: "O LORD, my God, let the life breath return to the body of this child." 22 The LORD heard the prayer of Elijah; the life breath returned to the child's body and he revived. 23 Taking the child, Elijah brought him down into the house from the upper room and gave him to his mother. "See!" Elijah said to her, "your son is alive." 24 "Now indeed I know that you you are a man of God," the woman replied to Elijah. "The word of the LORD comes truly from your mouth."

Galatians
Chapter 1 11 1 Now I want you to know, brothers, that the gospel preached by me is not of human origin. 12 For I did not receive it from a human being, nor was I taught it, but it came through a revelation of Jesus Christ. 2 13 3 For you heard of my former way of life in Judaism, how I persecuted the church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it, 14 and progressed in Judaism beyond many of my contemporaries among my race, since I was even more a zealot for my ancestral traditions. 15 But when (God), who from my mother's womb had set me apart and called me through his grace, was pleased 16 to reveal his Son to me, so that I might proclaim him to the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult flesh and blood, 4 17 nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; rather, I went into Arabia 5 and then returned to Damascus. 18 6 7 Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to confer with Kephas and remained with him for fifteen days. 19 But I did not see any other of the apostles, only James the brother of the Lord.

Luke
Chapter 7 11 1 Soon afterward he journeyed to a city called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd accompanied him. 12 As he drew near to the gate of the city, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. A large crowd from the city was with her. 13 When the Lord saw her, he was moved with pity for her and said to her, "Do not weep." 14 He stepped forward and touched the coffin; at this the bearers halted, and he said, "Young man, I tell you, arise!" 15 The dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother. 16 Fear seized them all, and they glorified God, exclaiming, "A great prophet has arisen in our midst," and "God has visited his people." 17 This report about him spread through the whole of Judea and in all the surrounding region. Table of Contents Luke 7

Catholic Fundamentalist Interpretation

The mother blamed Elijah for her son's death.

Elijah took the son's body to his room, upstairs.

He said to The Programmer, O Programmer, will you afflict this woman who's helping me by killing her son?

He made a heartfelt plea for The Programmer to reprogram the boy's body and soul.

The Programmer agreed to do the requested reprogramming, and the child's life came back.

Elija brought him to his mother.  "See!  Your son's death has been deleted."

"Now, I know that you are close to The Programmer.  Word about Him and His programming truly comes from your mouth."

I want you to know that the gospel I preach is not of my, or of any person's, origin.  It came through a revelation of Jesus Christ (To CFs, Jesus is The Program, in perfect, loving, human form.)

You know that I once tried to destroy this Church, and worked hard to do so after becoming more Jewish than the Jews. 

The Programmer called me through His grace, revealed His Son to me so I, (a Benjaminite) could proclaim Him to the Gentiles.

I did not question this, nor did I seek authority fo it.  I just went and taught the Arabs, then those in Damascus.  Then, I talked to Peter, but only him, except for James, the brother (cousin) of The Lord.

The Program, the 12 He chose to receive downloads, and a crowd eager for lesser downloads, went to Nain.

A dead man was being carried out.  As in the first reading, the only son of a widow.

A large crowd was with her.  When The Program saw her, he was moved with pity (and did not, unlike Elijah, remonstrate with The Programmer).  He said "Don't cry".

With a touch of the coffin and a command, He reprogammed so that the young man into life, bringing back instantly his mind and body.  The Program gave the man back to his mother.

Fear seized everyone.  They first called Him a prophet, then said He was a visitation from God.  They did not realize they understood the Father and Son were one.  All the Jews, Benjaminites, and the Levites in their areas heard about this.