Baptists, Fundamentalists, Orthodox Jew are right:
The Bible is Literal Truth. The World was created, fossils and all, in 7 days.

Howdy Doit?
He made it out of Fractals! 3-D Fractals. In the Beginning was the Word. Fractals are the echoes! Fractals, building blocks of building blocks.

Whydy Doit?
Catholics are right: Creation had to be made in such a way that we could never prove or disprove that HE made it. How else could HE give us Free Will?

Crats! -- Magic all around. Water and wine do turn into Body & Blood. Real camels zip right through the eyes of real needles! Faith is more than intellect, freedom better than slavery, Big Church infinitely greater than the State. Zion triumphant in this world and the next!
For us, there is no death. Only taxes.

This review of CRATS! appeared on Amazon:

"You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll pull the shades and bar the door-you might even question your unbelief. CRATS! is unique; there is no sense comparing it to other books. The author himself could not write another like it. CRATS! combines the rollicking fun of Chesterton's Napoleon of Notting Hill, the moral seriousness of Percy's The Thanatos Syndrome, the comedic spirituality of Mr. Blue, the bitter satire of Waugh, all with the shocking shockingness of Flannery O'Connor(and the contemporariness of Bud McFarlane, Jr.). The story concerns a small group of heroes who band together to fight the powers of darkness, along the way scuba diving, selling bird gods, and learning how the Grand Canyon was made and how a camel can pass through the eye of a needle. Good guys sometimes die,good guys sometimes kill-pacifists beware! If you don't like to think, if you like bland books that will lull you to sleep, for heaven's sake, don't buy CRATS!"